I had to re buy my domain name nikolasevans.com a few weeks ago. It made me realize I hadn’t blogged in so long. I mean, so much has happened since I blogged last! We had a beautiful grand baby girl named Halle Nikol Evans. She is now 6 months old!!
I need to figure out how to add pictures and videos to this thing so all of you can meet her. She is the light of my life. She has given my life new meaning. I baby sit her every Friday and it has been heaven. She smiles at me so cute, every time I pick her up. She is so good and it almost seems she knows what I am saying when I am talking to her. She is going to be such a smart girl. I know all parents think their kids are going to be smart but this one has her attention to everything going on at all times.
Let’s back up to November 12th, 2012 around 3:30 pm….My wonderful friend, Mark Scroggins, who delivered our baby girl, came out and told me that Olivia was exhausted and really having a hard time. They mentioned C-section and I will admit I was scared for Olivia, I knew Mark would never put our girls in danger. I believe they took her back around 5:00 pm and 30 minutes later or so, Ryan came out in his scrubs!!!!!!!! He had pictures on his cell phone of the baby just seconds old. I could not believe Ryan and Olivia had just had this baby. My baby had a baby. It was an incredible feeling. I could see how happy he was so of course, in sensitive mother fashion, I bawled like a baby.
We were all there, except Jeff. He had to go out of town but was there earlier that morning with Lily. Our whole family was overjoyed. For one day, we were all there together, in a circle, not being sad about losing Nikolas. This was Ryan’s day, bless his heart and we were all so happy.
Before this I had to grab the boys dad for a hug because I just wanted Nik to be here to see all of this happiness.
Fast forward some more time and we are all doing just fine. Neena had a little health scare that is fine. Jeff and I have had work issues that are better and everyone is doing fine.
No grand baby news. Nothing new for Nikki’s baby dreams. I know in my heart that he was gone too long and the surrogacy would never work but I have to spend the money, time and love to hear those words myself. I am not the kind of girl who will give up on anything, especially when it has to do with my kids. The good thing now is Halle Nikol. She can take ice skating lessons, and singing lessons, and piano lessons and ride her bike and paint and draw and laugh and walk. I have this new life that has instilled some new life in me. Things were rough for a while. Really rough. It’s amazing how one little soul, can give such big gratification! I’m already ready for baby number two!!!!
The kids are getting on their feet and loving each other tons so that is something I would like to see sooner than later lol
I don’t butt in though, much.
Hug your family and friends today. If today is the last day with them, say everything you want them to hear.
After today, this blog is going to be only positive and motivating to other grieving mothers. I want to make Nikolas proud. I want him to know that forever I will be sad that I can’t hug him but I know he is with me and wants me to succeed. He wants me to put this stomach ache grief aside for a moment and take that energy and put it out there to help others.
DONE, Nikolas! I have heard you and know what you want from me until we meet again.
LOVE you all.